She’ll Be Here Tomorrow
I love being human. I love the fullness of my life. I love that I can talk with babies in a mother’s womb or heal trauma around cancer in a person’s body but the very thought of cleaning and reorganizing my kitchen brings me to my knees.
Enter Kristy.
She’ll be here tomorrow. Kristy is going to help me understand some flow for my kitchen. We arranged the appointment two weeks ago and I’ve been quaking in my boots ever since. She came highly recommended by a good friend who truly understands me, is gifted in her own chosen vocation, and is challenged like I am around household order. Kristy’s work has helped my friend a great deal, and I’m hoping she can do the same for me. I’m also hoping she cancels.
What I wish:
- that I were not challenged in cleaning, organizing, and maintaining our home
- that I could do this all by myself
- that the kids would remain frozen in time as I figured this out, so their entire childhood isn’t memories of my freaking out about this stuff. If I had *forever*, I’d do it myself and not get help. It’s really killing me to need help with this.
- that I didn’t feel shame around the mess
- that I could harness the energy that gets depleted just thinking about this and apply it to making the changes
- that it didn’t require continual energy and raised consciousness to maintain, that it would just “happen”
- that I could give as much abundant energy to cleaning as I do around my “processing” of cleaning
What I appreciate:
- the intense openings and awarenesses inside of me that have been created by thinking so much about this
- the support of people who are loving me through this, including the friend who just e-mailed me and said, “Your kitchen is not you. Now stop blogging and get some sleep.”
- that household organizing is a gift and talent that some people actually have, and truly enjoy doing and sharing with others!
- that the discomfort of our day-to-day living is finally greater than my discomfort around getting help
- that each step I take is another level of my own healing
- that the mess is usually a result of fun and/or delicious things, not negative things
- that I am ready for this!
2pm tomorrow. I’ll keep you posted on what happens.
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